I start to walk across the field.

There are large puddles. My flip-flops are now squeaking.

I do want to go for a walk in the rain, right? Yes, yes I do. I need this.

I continue on, music blaring in my ears.

I am walking, I am focused.

Suddenly, I see something white and red out of the corner of my eye.  It is small, and it is coming right towards me.

“Ok duck, a little too close. Duck, get away from my feet. Duck I swear I will kick you! What the hell!”

This duck is persistently following me and pecking (or whatever ducks do) at my feet!

Of course I am the dumbass wearing flip-flops in the rain so I can’t run or I will fall on my face.

So I am yelling at this duck as I try to walk across the field. Mind you, the field goes by a duck pond.

“Get away from me!”

The duck does not listen.

“Listen you little shit, get the fuck away!”

People, I was yelling at a duck.  Not only was I yelling at the duck, but I was shoving the duck with my hands. I had bare feet! I was not about to let my toes get taken off by a duck.

Nothing was working. This duck was obnoxiously persistent.

“Listen you stupid duck; get the hell away from me! You are a pain in the ass!”

I start stomping my feet at him. It seems to startle him a little. He jumps around with his feathers flying. So I keep doing it.

Just a little further! Then I will be free of this little shithead.

I stomp my feet over to the walk way where the greenway starts.

He continues to follow me.

“No, No fucking way.  You are not following me!”

He stops.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

Was a walk really worth all of this?


So I go on my walk, then turn around and come back. 

An hour later I am in the same spot.

I scope out the scene.

I don’t see the ducks.

Just to be safe, I go a different way.

I still have to go through the field, but I don’t go by the duck pond, I go the long way towards the road.

I am almost by the road, when


Something runs into my leg and it is holding onto my pants!

I look down do see a white, brown, and green duck with his beak hanging onto my pants.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” I yell as I shake my leg free.

This duck is pissed. Probably about as pissed as I am. He is making angry noises that I can only assume are angry vicious words directed at the stupid human who was shoving one of its family members.

“Duck, this is not funny, get away from me.”

I step onto the empty road in hopes that the pavement will scare him away.

Nope, he hops right down on the pavement and comes running at me.

I kick my feet and stomp them.

This duck will not quit it.

Then a car comes, I see the car, the duck does not.

He is busy being stupid and still trying to run at me.

So I am still trying to shove him away from me.

Then the duck looks up, he sees the car. He stops attacking me and starts walking around nonchalantly like nothing was happening.

I make my get away. I look behind me; the duck is just standing there watching me.  The car is waiting for this stupid duck to move.

“You fucking ducks, I hate you!” I yell