Today, on a few occasions, I opened my mouth and inserted not just a shoe, but a whole fucking shoe store.  I just kept digging myself a deeper hole! I couldn’t help it. Words just fell out of my mouth and landed on the floor in a pile of stupid.

How stupid can one girl be!?
Pretty damn stupid sometimes.

My day started off rough.  I was almost late for school.
I had questions which I had to rush with because I was doing morning meeting.
Today the greeting went well, the activity? Not so much.
I had to end it.  Then I tried to do another activity, but they were just too crazy by this point.  I lost them.

So I gave the class back to Ms. P and I went off to do an interview with the vice principal.
As I left the classroom and headed down the hall, my student teaching supervisor was coming towards me.

“Hi” she says
“Hey, I am on my way to do an interview with the vice principal.  You just missed an unsuccessful morning meeting!”  
Shoe number one? Inserted.
What the fuck did you say that for stupid! She didn’t have to know! Damn it!
“Oh really?” she asks
“Oh yeah, it was a bit crazy.”
Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
“Ok, well I have to go now! Bye.”

I had a conversation with her again later in the day.
It was shitty.
She observed a 15 minute lesson, and picked it apart piece by piece.

“You did good in some things. You did not so great in others.  And there are things you need to fix right away.  You are not ready for full-time teaching.  I can tell you this from several different things I observed.”

These are things she said. And more.  A lot more.

I was all super sensitive today

I tried very hard not to cry.

Only a tear or two escaped.

It sucked.

I know I inserted more shoes in my mouth at some point during the conversation.  Finally I just stuck to mhm, mhm, ok, mhm.

Sigh, thank goodness that was at the end of the day.

Oh, the best part of the day?

I was walking down the path to the car and sending an email on my phone.  I didn’t look up for a while and walked right into the flag pole.  True story.

I laughed.  It was ridiculous.

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