Have you ever read a book that had a sentence or a phrase that stuck out to you? It hit you, made you unable to breathe.  It made you stop and read it again. You realize that this sentence has such meaning and beauty.  It is what you have been thinking for so long, but never knew how to put it in words.  There it is in front of you, so perfectly written.  As if it was written for you. 

    I found that sentence.  I was reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.  It is an amazing book. My absolute favorite.  If you have never heard of it, you should go read about it here. Then? Go buy the book.

Anyways.

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

    This is the sentence that made me stop. It seems simple and obvious, but it wasn’t at the time. All of those thoughts that I could never put into words, that I felt crazy for thinking.  It was there in front of me. 

     I never understood how it was possible to feel two such completely different emotions at the same time.  How it is possible to laugh when you are miserable, or cry in a moment you thought you were happy. I never understood it.  I tried to explain it to people, but couldn’t find the words.  The concept of feeling two different emotions at the same time was unknown to me.  I thought if I told someone, they would never understand.  

     I first read the book when I was 15.  I was a mess at that time.  Everything was a mess.  It felt like my life was in a state of uncertainty. I could not depend on anyone, or anything.  I was depressed, yet I had moments of happiness.  I could not understand that.  Nor could I understand how there were times when I was happy and I still wanted to burst into tears. 

     And then I read Perks.  I read that sentence, right there in the beginning of the book was this sentence.  I finally had words for how I was feeling.  I wasn’t crazy. I no longer felt alone.  It is possible to feel happy and sad in the same sentence.  Though Charlie didn’t know how it could be either, I knew I wasn’t alone. 

For me, it was one of those sentences that changed things. Not a lot.  It wasn’t completely life changing, but it was thought changing.  Have you ever had one of those moments?

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